Skip to main content

Pills, Potions, and Lotions


My new neighbor, Juliet, came up to me on the street yesterday while I was pushing my daughter in her stroller, and asked if we could talk. She asked me a lot of questions – where was I originally from and did I like it here and on and on – until I said why should I answer all this. "What about you?" We were standing near the front windows of a small coffee shop, so she asked me if I wanted to have a drink. She thought she had an idea I would be very interested in.

   Well, since she's kinda cute and charming, I thought "Oh, why not." She might even be a good friend to have. Then we went inside the coffee shop and we both ordered iced latte. My two-year-old daughter was calm, but observant. I gave her a small cookie to keep her busy for a while, and then Juliet and I went on to discuss our little "business".

   We talked about our families, the bad coffee we were drinking, and the weather. Then, just ten minutes or so later, in a strange twist of events, she segued into a recruitment presentation. She pulled out her iPad, and, with several swipes of her fingers, she found the file that made our meeting unbearable. In this presentation, she asked me how I would like to have so much money that I would never need to worry about it again. It turned out that Juliet is into multi-level marketing (MLM) and she wanted me to join her cult. Ever been suckered into participating in one?

   Herbalife, Amway, Health and Wealth, Mary Kay, and a bunch of other MLM companies guarantee their members that they can get rich pretty fast if they join in. They brag that being a "business associate" is a great way to smash your alarm clock and never work from 9 to 5 again. But, the reality is, only the owners and very few people on top of the pyramid make money.

   Juliet works for Royale, which is currently the top MLM firm in the Philippines. Members buy Royale products in bulk, and can then either use them or try to resell them. They are paid based on a multi-level marketing model, meaning that their income comes not only from the pills, potions, and lotions they vend, but also from bonuses related to sales by new members they recruit.

   After some wasted time and uncomfortable closeness, I wanted to leave. Juliet was real pushy, and I can't stand pushy salespeople. They are the aggressive ones who use a range of techniques to persuade you to buy their product or join their scheme, and they don't take "no" for an answer. They have different agenda: they are using questions as a way of convincing you that they are trustworthy, and that their claims are real. I played along for a few more minutes out of respect... and lust, and stayed totally still. That Royale thing was a complete surprise. Dear God, how have I sinned to deserve this punishment?

   She went on with her sweet talk, and told me about their wonderful products: food supplements, glutathione, whitening soaps, deodorants. "Hmmm… okay. But no." If their products are so great, then why aren't they being sold at leading drugstores and supermarkets? Why do they need to resort to a "special marketing" scheme? In most cases, people join these MLM companies not because they really believe in their products but because there is a system designed to allow them to earn money if they play the game 'right' (or should I say 'wrong').

   She talked to me for like half an hour but I was just gazing at her nice rack and pouty lips. After sensing that I had no interest whatsoever in her business proposal, she finally gave up. "I can't commit to this as I have other priorities at the moment," I told her. Saying "no" isn't easy for most people. However, dealing with individuals who talk excessively, are uber determined, and use manipulative tactics is exhausting and frustrating.

   Juliet thanked me for my time, stood up, handed me her business card, and told me to call her if I ever changed my mind. I thanked her for the coffee (and the 30-minute erection) and then we walked out. I didn't want her number. Hmmm... maybe I did, but I definitely didn't want the pile of flyers that were in her hands. 
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Where Fantasy Meets Folklore

Timothée Humbert creates wild, zoomorphic sculptures that pull the viewer into an imaginary world. This place is full of strange, funny, and sometimes grotesque little beings. His creatures feel ancient and childlike at the same time; one can't tell if they are jokes, spells, or something sacred. Humbert was born in Paris in 1979. While primarily a ceramic artist, he also draws, paints, and engraves. He earned his Fine Arts diploma in 2004, and a year later, he set up his studio. Since then, he has created nothing but one-of-a-kind pieces. These include monsters grinning like kids who know something you don't, skulls with attitude, and oddball geniuses who might be ghosts. His style mashes together global traditions and pop culture. You can trace the lines from Japanese ceramics, African sculpture, and Mexican Día de los Muertos, then, out of nowhere, find manga, fantasy, and sci-fi. Together, they create a kind of postmodern language—a jumble of hieroglyphs that hum with life....
Post a Comment
Read more

Hand-Painted Bags That Tell Your Story

  Most bags today look like they were produced by bored machines in a dimly lit factory. You can walk into any mall and find rows of identical leather (or “leather-like”) things, all claiming to express individuality. Ironically, though, they all look exactly the same. Then there’s Abby Verano . Her bags are not mere accessories; they’re declarations. Each one is hand-painted, touched by an actual human being with an imagination. Abby doesn’t just sell you something to put your wallet and smartphone in; she sells you a story, a vision, a little revolt against the tyranny of sameness.  Her tools are simple — brushes, acrylic paint, bags made from pandan leaves, and creativity. No duplicates. No clones. Just one-of-a-kind art pieces you can carry.
Post a Comment
Read more

A Declaration in Spray Paint

Street art has rewritten the story of cities. What used to be blank concrete now hums with color. It's not just rebellion—it's existence, declared in aerosol. Murals rise where billboards used to glare. Festivals sprout up, neighborhoods come alive, and what was once vandalism becomes culture. We have to thank the people behind this, artists like Dasic Fernández . The Chilean-born, New York-based muralist wants to make the world more colorful. His works spill across continents—from Chinatown to Santiago to the desert of Diriyah. Each one transforms a gray, ignored corner into something radiant, impossible to overlook. While studying architecture in Chile, he became obsessed with how art could shape the city itself. Street art, for him, was the purest form of dialogue: direct, public, and alive. “Painting on the street,” he says, “carries great responsibility—both artistic and social.” Here are some of my favorites. Be sure to follow Dasic's Instagram for more.
Post a Comment
Read more