Wednesday, June 8, 2016

Musicians You Should Know

Have you heard of The Hamburger Boys? How about Serafino Paina, the greatest opera singer ever to walk the Earth? If you're into music, illustration, or satire, check out this hilarious new Tumblr blog called Musicians You Should Know. Warning: Strong probability of time dilation. The first time I came across it I told myself I was going to read a post or two. Then my wife called and I realized I read the entire blog. My favorite is about Ned Dreeble:

"In the weeks that followed Ned Dreeble's notorious Cambridge, Massachusetts, concert, his devotees became the butt of endless Internet jabs and even a joke or two on late night television. Yet the incident—in which a group of fans, perhaps overly protective of the beloved singer, were videotaped forcibly ejecting an audience member for refusing to take off his Mickey Mouse t-shirt—was in truth fairly standard for a Dreeble show. The gentle musician is said to suffer from a host of mental disorders, including (but by no means limited to) catatonic schizophrenia, bibliomania, and intermittent explosive disorder tempered by acute Münchausen syndrome. As such, Dreeble desperately fears ghouls, manual transmission cars, bucktoothed Chinamen of antiquated cliché, the wind, and, most intensely, Mickey Mouse, who frequently arises in his lyrics as a proxy for the devil. Because the musician is known to equate applause with the Tet Offensive—he suffers from posttraumatic stress disorder as a result of viewing too many Vietnam films in his youth—clapping during his concerts is strictly verboten. Instead, at the conclusion of every song, as Dreeble ducks backstage to rapidly wash his hands and penis, audience members are asked to leap to their feet, smile tightly so as not to reveal their threatening choppers, and wave in the manner of British royalty."

Be sure to check out the rest of the entry. They update every Thursday.

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