Happy 30th birthday to The Smashing Pumpkins' monumental double album, Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness ! I was a fresh-faced 15-year-old in 1995, deep in my grunge phase—right before Boyz II Men swept me off my feet. Let's be real: when they announced this two-disc, 28-track opus, it felt less like a new album and more like an act of war against the listener. A double album from an alt-rock band in '95? That was commercial suicide on an epic scale, a towering self-regard previously reserved for the likes of Pink Floyd or Led Zeppelin. Billy Corgan, fresh off the success of Siamese Dream , cashed in all his artistic capital for this two-hour obligation. This wasn't a creative endeavor; it was a doctoral dissertation on Gen X angst. Listening to it felt like being forced to read a particularly dense biography of Pablo Picasso—you admire the person, but you desperately want it to end. Take Porcelina of the Vast Oceans . Nine minutes. Nine minutes! It drags you from ...